I know, once again I am running months behind updating this blog, but work, travels, our imminent move and my two little devil girls have once more taken most of my time. So, instead of waiting and thinking of posting one day, I should simply beat the iron whilst it’s hot…

I have been a fervent DirecTV subscriber for well over 2 years (almost since we moved to the US) and a beta tester of most of their “cutting edge” services for almost as long. As you know, we are about to move to our brand new house and have decided to change provider and switch to AT&T U-Verse as their service is almost pre-plumbed in our house, so I have decided to try U-Verse and leave DirecTV.

First, I can’t cancel my subscription online. They can take my money online, they can charge me online, I can upgrade my services but such a basic service, nope, please call us. No worries, I have plenty of time on my hands (not!).

The charming operator at first kindly offers me to match U-Verse price and is willing to give me a $20 a month discount for up to 12 months. Tempting, but no thank you, I have spent weeks reviewing my options, discussed it with both my colleagues from DirecTV and U-Verse and I have made up my mind. By next week, I want my service discontinued.

Seeing that I wasn’t taking the bait, the tone changed. “Well Sir, I have to review your account and your receivers and you will have to send them back to us”. Fair game except that I have purchased two of my 3 receivers at Best Buy. “But Sir, even if you purchased these receivers, you didn’t really purchase them. You bought them at a discount at Best Buy and leased them with us since…”. You mean like AT&T does subsidize iPhone and lock you into a 2 years contract? Bollocks to that!!!

Well, it doesn’t make sense but hey, do I really care? I was hoping I could sell the ones I bought on eBay but I won’t make a profit here. No big deal. Actually, yes big deal! The lovely lady on the phone then explains to me that I bought my last HD Receiver less than 2 year ago and that there was a 2 years commitment attached to the device. A what? So…

• This is the first time I’ve heard of this, really. I would have remembered that definitely!
• You now turn the $20 discount per month into a $20 per month early termination fee for the next 7 months? ($140)

So basically, you first try to lure me into staying with you, then seeing that you can’t keep me, you spit in my face… I’ve known prostitute with more class than you DirecTV!

One thing that wasn’t specified to me is the state in which the Set Top Boxes have to reach DirecTV… I am wondering if any of my friends (@cruftbox, hint! hint!) would like to go for a shooting range session this weekend?!

Best in all of this is that at the end of the call, the lady in the phone declared that she was hoping I would change my mind and come back to DirecTV in the future… Really? Do you see that middle finger of mine? No? Look closer!

I then went on giving her my honest point of view and if anyone that works at DirecTV is reading this, I want to remind you that the calls can be recorded to training purposes so ENJOY!